Emotional closeness: 5 tips if you find it difficult to open up in a relationship

emotional closeness
5 tips if you find it difficult to open up in a relationship

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Especially at the beginning of a new love we often have problems opening ourselves up and showing vulnerability. These tips can help you allow emotional closeness in your relationship.

In a new relationship we all bring our baggage with us. From previous partnerships, from childhood and from other influences. All of these things can make it anything but easy for us to really open up and let go. It is essential for a successful relationship that we allow vulnerability. These strategies can help you really engage with your partner and develop emotional intimacy.

These 5 tips can help you open up in a relationship

1. Find out what keeps you from opening up

Before you can succeed in opening yourself up, you should first reflect on what is currently holding you back. Because only when you have processed your experiences and understood your own (relationship) patterns can you start to break through them. In what situations is it currently difficult for you to show yourself vulnerable to your partner? Do you recognize similar situations in your past where your needs were not met or you were hurt?

2. Build trust

Trust is the foundation of every relationship. Building it up takes time. Don’t put yourself under too much pressure if you don’t manage to trust your new partner completely after just a few weeks. Give yourself the time you need and consciously work on building trust. What do you need for the feeling of being able to rely on your counterpart? Once you understand that, you can work on communicating these needs to your sweetheart.

3. Be honest with your partner

If you’re having trouble allowing emotional closeness, an important strategy can be to honestly tell the other person exactly that. Appreciative communication is essential to build closeness and intimacy. And maybe talking openly about the fact that opening is not easy for you will get you a little bit further. Even if it takes a little effort for you: admitting this vulnerability will bring you closer to each other.

4. Start with small steps

Are you working on sharing more with your partner and showing yourself more vulnerable? That’s great! Don’t put yourself under too much pressure, but start with small steps. Maybe you tell your sweetheart about a feeling or a thought that is on your mind. The more you do this, the easier it will be for you in the future. And at some point it will become natural for you to share what is going on inside you with your partner. Practice makes perfect!

5. Get help

If you feel that even after a long time you are still unable to open up to your partner, even though he/she gives you no reason not to trust him/her, it might be helpful to to seek professional help. There is nothing wrong if your experiences and traumas overwhelm you and you cannot break through your resulting relationship patterns on your own. A therapist can support you with this and thus help you in the long term to form deeper bonds and have more fulfilling relationships.

Sources used: bustle.com, betterhelp.com


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Peggy McColl

Mentor l NY Times Bestselling Author. Hi, I'm Peggy McColl, and I'm here to deliver a positive message to you!

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