“I was uncool” – Marta Żmuda Trzebiatowska confesses to us in the podcast “Tak Mom!”. We talk to the actress about the path she had to take to become a woman she would like to be friends with, and about how she prepared for the most important role of her life – motherhood – we talk to the actress in the second episode of the fourth season of our podcast.
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“I didn’t feel like I wanted children for a long time. I was never the kind of girl who looked into prams. I even asked my mother once if everything was okay with me (laughs). Until the moment came that I totally felt that I wanted to and started wondering – but with whom?” – tells us Marta Żmuda Trzebiatowska. Soon after she realized that she was ready to start a family, she met her future husband, actor Kamil Kula.
“I felt that he was the perfect candidate for a husband and father. Only then did I have to go a long way to build myself as a woman. Because I wanted to enter into this relationship. I wanted to be a nice wife and a nice mother. That’s why I needed time and that’s why Kamila I repulsed myself, so to speak. But he was stubborn and persistent.”
We asked Marta what she meant when she said she wanted to become “cool”. So what was it like before? “Uncool,” she answered honestly. And as we drilled further, she explained:I had a lot of my own problems, unsettled matters from my childhood and past. I knew that if I didn’t sort it out, if I didn’t go through it all, I wouldn’t be able to create a happy relationship. Then I will not build a house where my children will feel safe, calm and where they can develop. I judged myself so much that I probably wouldn’t be a good mom. Today, however, I am a woman whom I like and with whom I would like to be friends. I don’t know what kind of mom I am, but I do know that I’m trying hard.”
Żmuda Trzebiatowska admitted that the work she had to do on herself was painful. Telling us about this period of her life, the actress was clearly moved.
“I had a very low self-esteem and a huge problem with self-acceptance – she says. – This, of course, does not come out of nowhere. (…) As a child, I did not consider myself pretty. I cared a lot about my own beauty. I focused on something completely different. My home was also rather modest, I always had clothes “from someone else”, I didn’t have new things, but I was brought up in the belief that this is not the most important thing. I didn’t find out that I was pretty until I was in college. They put me in a bag labeled “lovely” (laughs). And since I found out, problems began. That if you’re pretty, you’re less talented, and so on…”
Martha told us in podcast “Yes Moms!”that she was receiving therapy. The road she had to go through was difficult, but it allowed her to free herself from her “demons” and be what she is today – a happy woman, wife and mother. Marta also adds that motherhood cured her of perfectionism – something that for many years was her real nightmare. She had trouble letting go of control, and she liked to follow a plan. Meanwhile, with a child, let alone two children, it is simply impossible to plan everything. Thanks to the pregnancies, the actress also accepted her body and all the changes it was undergoing. “I was very grateful to my body. I think I’ve insulted it and been harsh with it for so long that it’s time to be gentle and grateful to it for everything.”
Marta Żmuda Trzebiatowska told us in the podcast that she often tells her daughter that she is beautiful. Because, as she recalls, she herself did not hear it often and she missed it. Because every little girl needs to hear that sometimes, right? “I thought I was ugly. I had a cousin the same age and everyone always said she was so cute. So I felt like she was cute and I’m a bit of a boy, especially since I wore pants a lot. and I grew up thinking that, even after everyone said I was pretty, I didn’t believe it. That’s why I want to give my daughter wings. I want her to have the strength and get it from home so she doesn’t have to look for it later. I want her to believe in herself. So I tell her she’s important, smart, good, and yes, she’s pretty“. Both daughter and son, the actress also says every day, loud and clear, that she loves them.
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