Breaking up before Christmas or hooking up right before Valentine’s Day, free food on dates and sticking to someone like a paper clip. Yes, these are all dating trends. What cruel practices are hidden under the names Gatsbying, Greadcrumbing or Cuffing Season?
- Ditching someone just before Christmas just so you don’t have to buy them a gift can seem like a pretty unheard of occurrence. However, it is so popular that it has earned its own name – Scrooging
- Dating trends also included other cruel practices, including, among others, Sneating, or dating for free food
- Interestingly, some of the names of popular dating trends come from literature
- More such stories can be found on the Onet home page
Do you know “A Christmas Carol” and its main character? The one who is visited by ghosts to show him what he’s missing out on being an introverted miser who doesn’t like people or Christmas, and his friend’s ghost warns that if he doesn’t change, he will be tormented after death?
It turns out that although in real life the ghosts of present, past and future holidays have not yet visited anyone, Ebenezer Scrooge’s stinginess has inspired one of the dating trends. scrooge — because that’s what we’re talking about — it’s nothing but ditching someone just before Christmas so you don’t have to buy them a present.
There are more cruel dating trends, however.
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Cruel Dating Trends
The opposite of Scrooge is V-lationshipping. This trend is all about reconnecting with someone you’ve already dated just to not be lonely on Valentine’s Day.
Staying in the winter climate, the Cuffing Season should also be mentioned. When it gets darker and colder outside the window, the desire to have a partner increases. Cuffing, however, comes from the English word “cuffs” meaning handcuffs, and the trend itself is to seek short-term relationships. The handcuffing season usually starts in October and ends right after Valentine’s Day.
Specialists emphasize, however, that the desire to have the other half in the autumn-winter period is not only a manifestation of bad intentions. “When the temperature drops and it gets cold earlier, there is often a change in mood related to two chemicals in our body — melatonin and serotonin” — explains psychologist Susan Albers in an interview with “Health Essentials”, adding that being in a relationship affects the natural increase in serotonin.
According to Albers, dating is one of the better ways to deal with feelings in this bleak fall and winter season. The downside to this approach is thatthe need to be in a relationship »already, immediately« it often causes people to lower their standards or expectations of the relationship” and that’s what can affect their duration.
Another cultural inspiration in dating trends has become “The Great Gatsby”. The main character Jay Gatsby devoted all his energy to throwing extravagant parties just to impress his beloved Daisy Buchanan. In the dating world, Gatsbying manifests itself by posting the prettiest and most interesting photos and videos on social media only for the person we are interested in to see and who is supposed to be interested in us.
It is a way that gives us the opportunity to get the other person’s attention without having to leave our comfort zone. The lack of a like or a nice comment is easier for us to bear than the lack of a reply to a sent message. However, the image we create online may differ from reality.
Sneating is another trend that Ebenezer Scrooge himself would not be ashamed of. It’s dating for free food. This method is used by both women and men. After a short “I forgot/forgot my wallet” and the other person pays the bill, they say goodbye pleasantly, promise that they will return the favor next time and … just disappear.
Breadcrumbing also has something in common with food. At least in a sense. “Breadcrumbs” translates to “bread crumbs” in Polish. This trend is based on scattering such crumbs by sending small signals to the other person. A short non-committal text message, a nice comment or watching Instastory — these are the best crumbs. The purpose of scattering them, however, is to maintain someone’s interest in us, even if we do not intend to get involved with them.
Paperclipping is also associated with constant reminders of yourself. However, this is definitely a crueler form of scattering crumbs. While in the case of Breadcrumbing we gently remind someone who is interested in us, in the case of Paperclipping we do not let anyone forget about us.
As the name suggests, we attach ourselves to our ex-partner like a paper clip and from time to time remind him of our existence, thus preventing him from moving on.
Something similar happens when someone you’ve been in contact with suddenly disappears, then reappears without any explanation. Yes — Submarining is a form of ghosting (from the English word “ghost” – “spirit”). Unlike disappearing completely and “pretending to be a ghost”, however, submarining is a temporary “descent under water” only to resurface after a few months without warning.
One-sided interest is also described as Firedooring and its name refers to the fire door, which, although it can be opened from two sides, opens more easily from one side.
As examples of this trend, “Metro” cites situations where the love interest “never responds to our messages or invitations, but we always respond to him”, “is cold to us when we text him, but if he speaks himself, he is friendly and charming”, “won’t commit to any plans for the future, even if it’s a matter of weeks, but when we mention that we won’t be around or that we should stop seeing each other, he seems nervous and acts as if but there was something between us.”
Fishing, on the other hand, is an online dating trend related to the real network — fishing net. This trend consists in sending (usually) the same message to many people, e.g. in a dating application. When the “bait” is sent, there is a waiting time. Not everyone will probably reply to the message, but among those who decide to write back, we can choose one person who interests us the most. The rest can go back to the sea.
Source: thesun.co.uk, harpersbazaar.com, metro.co.uk, health.clevelandclinic.org, merriam-webster.com, glamour.pl, menshealth.com