Couples: what is the most common misunderstanding that leads to arguments?

It happens that a conflict occurs within the couple and sometimes it is a misunderstanding that creates it. When you don’t understand or are not on the same wavelength emotionally, disagreement is very likely. However, it may be easier to avoid it by knowing the causes of this misunderstanding. What are they ?

An emotional shift

According to research published in the Journal of Family Psychology and reported by Psychology Today, misunderstandings occur when an emotional disconnect develops between the two partners. More precisely, we can observe this phenomenon when one of the two lovers does not receive the “support” that he needed.

For example, if you talk about something that worries you, frustrates you, to your partner and you want comfort, understanding but he only offers you solutions to “fix” the problem, there is a gap. You expected “emotional support” but the other only offers practical solutions. You are then upset because you do not feel supported but your partner does not understand your reaction because for him, he tried to help you. This is how misunderstanding is created.

How to resolve this misunderstanding?

In order to avoid greater conflicts, it is important to be explicit with the other on the nature of the support that one wishes to receive. Be clear and specific in how you address your concerns indicating the type of support you need at the time. Do you expect listening accompanied by a hug, a tender gesture and comforting words or rather sound advice to solve a problem?

Conversely, if you are the listener, you can directly ask the other person what kind of support they expect from this exchange. The important thing is to respect your partner’s expectations and to communicate as well as possible to preserve your relationship.

Source: Psychologies

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Varun Kumar

Varun Kumar is a freelance writer working on news website. He contributes to Our Blog and more. Wise also works in higher ed sustainability and previously in stream restoration. He loves running, trees and hanging out with her family.

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