Euroinvasion: Europe purges the blame

Eurovision won by Ukraine, as expected. yes in MasterChef the story of overcoming a dead father is on the rise, the Eurovision equivalent is the invasion and the war. Europe purges the blame throwing himself on the phone and saying “how well you sing” with one hand while with the other he continues to mumble “there you vent yourself there”. But how well we are going to sleep knowing that they have won Eurovision even if they continue to bombard them. How nice we are and how supportive. There is no just cause to resist us.

Distorted the festive and lyrical spirit of the festival, since the least important thing is the song itself and has become a talent show any, let us also surrender to the superficiality that the body asks of us. We are not going to be less than the average citizen, the one who has calmed his conscience with the blow of cliquiti.

It started with him give peace a chancefrom John Lennon which is only surpassed in kitsch by Lennon himself with his imagineperformance of Laura Pausino and such Mike, unknown to me, clapping dressed in white. Single Roy Galan reciting a poem to love in general and a baby panda with bows could have added sillyness to the event. Fortunately it was not.

As a group of dancers wearing goggles and dish gloves danced as if they had just kicked drugs and were looking for methadone, we are introduced to the 25 countries that aspired to win the Crystal Microphone even knowing that it was already for Ukraine.

Italyso Argentine in benidorm wanting to be Parisian, he hosted the soiree, which has turned out to be a ode to cyclothymia: without interruption we went from a sad song that pushed to suicide without reflection to a type Chimo Bayo from pasties up to the ears attending a rodeo. What uncontrolled and unrestrained Mediterranean intensity.

started Czech Republic with an intense tracksuit that could just burst into tears or burst the face of a girl. Romaniahalf bullfighter half sugarbaby, sang a very subtle chorus, one of those that you don’t get out of your head for three days, which said in Spanish “Hello my baby, call me, call me”. Cultural appropriation?

Portugal, in his sad line but without a mustache. And then, Finland with balloons and overt psychopathy: the singer was like the unlikely son of the murderer of I Know What You Did Last Summer with the clown ITEM. We keep going from euphoria to tears without respite. Swiss It came with a song with a message and low. France, tanxugueiras (I have to google it every time I write it) and queimadas.

For Norway, a band dressed in chicken yellow prophylactic and some with masks. The Chiquilicuatre He did a lot of damage and we will always owe that debt to decorum. Norway leads to his particular version of Rose of Spain: writes since he was six years old, lives in a small town, another story of overcoming. What a mess already with the stories of overcoming, really.

I breathe with a sketch level Spanish screenwriter for the Goya gala and arrives Italywith his homofestive partner and, later, chanell. Chanel is so hot, from my rabid heterosexuality I say it, how she dances and how good the song is. This woman has not won Eurovision, she deserved it, but he has earned our respect and our admiration. Olé that enviable ass, that swing of bouncy and tropical hip and that doing what you put in the bun no matter what the hegemonic and disoriented schizofeminism says. What a lesson in empowerment and freedom (take note, girl Huntsman).

Overwhelming Chanel with ‘SloMo’, great favorite

Netherlands with more song with message. Ukrainewho could have walked on stage in his underwear and insulted the presenters while cursing in Aramaic and still won, arrived with a few Village People the day they confessed their drug addiction to their parents. Germanya guy with a guitar playing sexy. Lithuaniawho wants to be French and it doesn’t work out for her. Azerbaijan, singing to heartbreak. How tiresome. In Belgium I took the opportunity to go to a pee.

Greece he went to the contest with the girl with the curve. Icelandwith Maria Ostiz the day he was given a pony, a banjo and two friends. moldova It was a tribute to the Valencian cod route with a little dot country poorly measured. With Sweden I needed another drink.

Australiadepicted with a homosexual guy with Asperger’s in a wedding dress in horror empty. More story of overcoming and sorrow. A mariachi with long hair represented United Kingdom Already Polanda meiga opera. Serbian he washes his hands, he is literal, and he sings in favor of the health system. The epic of washing your hands, you know. For Estonia sings the sexiest man in Estonia, “despite being dressed as a ram”. I have not understood it but it is the best phrase of the night by far.

Win Ukraine

Precisely Eurovision has been the only contemporary event that goes beyond rancor and historical revenge, which harms us, and the points have been distributed somewhat randomly: a little by neighborhood and a little because he had to win Ukraine. The United Kingdom has not given us 12 points and I think it is because Magaluf it is the first cause of death there. Ukraine wins, UK comes second. Spain (Chanel) third.

They will understand that I do not speak of the quality of the songs when it has not been taken into account by the jury or by telephone voters. I feel exempted, therefore, from doing it myself.

My conclusions: she wears the mamarrachez, the clothes to walk around the house, Laura Pausini is the only woman with a diastema who is not sexy and heterosexuality is vintage. Y Chanel is very big and more needs to be said.


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