Thi Bich Doan, a year of letting go

Seeing her arrive, young, tiny and smiling, it is impossible to imagine for a second that Thi Bich Doan has been collecting knowledge for twenty-five years (she is a doctor of philosophy and has followed dozens of training courses of all kinds), nor that she is a teacher of material arts. It would be a mistake to let yourself be taken in by her fragile physique: this woman is of formidable strength. And his story is stunning.

Two years ago, Thi Bich (which means “Blue Pearl”) finished his thesis. A skilled meditator (she has, among other things, made several stays at the Plum Village of Thich Nhât Hanh), always looking for spirituality, the philosopher is closely interested in the phenomena of synchronicity, and especially in the present moment. The title of his research testifies to this: “Direct perceptual experience-Contributions of artistic, bodily and meditative practices in the cognitive sciences. In other words, can the arts, sport and meditation be a way to live more in the present moment, to modify one’s state of consciousness and to manage to open up to chance? “I had noticed, she notes, that synchronicities appeared spontaneously after meditations or the practice of martial arts. But what would happen if I pushed the experience more broadly, into everyday life, by letting go of all will? The question bothers her as long as a malaise sets in on the eve of taking up a new position. “I was about to join a consulting firm and continue my care activity. Objectively, it was perfect, this position of researcher on the possibilities of integrating the tools of neuroscience and natural therapies into the life of the company. However, signs showed me that it was not the right choice: I had stomach aches, I felt bad! One evening, after a meditation, the decision is essential. “It was obvious: I had to leave. If I stayed in comfort, I wouldn’t be able to know if these chances, these adequate events could occur without will. I needed to find myself in a situation in which I decide nothing. » A leap into the unknown, without a net or almost. “I’m not unconscious: I wanted to limit the experience to one year, because if ever it was a disaster, if I was wrong, I limited the damage. At no time, says Thi Bich, did I say to myself: “Hey! I will let go. “It was just the continuity of my work. »

Nevertheless, it takes a lot of courage… Thi Bich dares to do what we all dream of: let go and let yourself be carried away. She terminates her lease and sends an email to refuse her new job. “The next day, the mind took over, like a punch in the face. I thought to myself that I was crazy. as if my perceptions and intuitions were wrong. For two days, I didn’t leave my house. Still, she holds on. Here she is gone. First happy coincidence: a person met at an internship invites him to the seaside. Then a sick relative needs his help and offers him accommodation and food in exchange for his support… And it will not stop. “I really have the certainty that, from the moment when I am completely myself, when I rely on the world, I cannot be wrong. By being in my true place, the environment supports me in what I do. I get what I need, not what I want. One encounter leads to another, one journey holds the promise of the next. “I went to Morocco, Canada… It was really both amazing and very natural… The idea was to take whatever came up, if I felt it was consistent. On the other hand, the idea is not to remain passive in the face of opportunities: the philosopher acts on the basis of what life offers her… on the express condition that it rings true in herself.

The question, in this year-long adventure, remains that of acceptance, this great idea of ​​Buddhism. Obedience to good and bad. This is what Thi Bich is trying to do, throughout this famous “year of letting go”, but also today. “As soon as I made an act of will, it seized up! Today, there are still ups and downs. But when I’m tired, discouraged, it’s no longer a problem for me. I’m going through this state, I know it’s temporary. I no longer need the tools I used to use like meditation, even though I still practice. What drives me forward is living every moment to the full. Let myself be guided, it will never be a mistake, ”she notes. This adventure, concludes Thi Bich Doan, “I was able to carry it out because I also agreed to revisit the sufferings of my childhood, this permanent feeling of being out of step. This is what allowed me to reconnect with myself, with this child who felt accurately but who was misunderstood. Now I am much less destabilized by the outside world. I stay on my course and I know that I will always go up. That’s what I gained during this year… Everything will be fine”. Today, she is writing her next book, still practicing energy healing and happily getting back to life.