“…My son was born”
“I had to wait four years before becoming pregnant, and stay in bed for nine months before becoming a mother. Desire that I had been nurturing since I was 20 years old. So, the signs of age, since the birth of Baptiste, my eldest son, I attach no importance to them. This breast diminished by breast-feeding, this stomach made ugly by stretch marks and scars from caesareans represent my new identity as a woman who has had children. OK, I don’t wear hipster pants or bikinis on the beach anymore, but I feel prettier, more in tune with myself. My husband, delicate and attentive, helps me to mourn my body as a young girl. Her gaze reassures me and pushes me to maintain my femininity: I am elegant, always wearing makeup. I’m not afraid of old age thanks to my grandmother who always gave me a positive image of it. I have known her for a long time to be refined, alert and a great traveller. Recently, after an exhausting thyroid operation, I realized that aging well also means taking time for yourself. Previously swinging and hyperactive, I am now learning to let go. »
Celine, 32 years old
“… I sent everything crashing down”
“As I approached my forties, I sent everything crashing down: my marriage, my job, the ambient conformism. This crisis was the culmination of a long road. I was arriving at a certain stage of professional and family success, but with the suffocating feeling of purring and having my nose to the grindstone. Having married young, I had never asked myself. It was enough that my children grew up for me to find myself in front of me, with existential questions like: “Who am I?”, “What do I love?”
Dormant, more human values have come to light. My work as a communication officer no longer satisfied me, I wanted to transmit, support and share. I resumed my studies. After a master’s degree, I became a trainer with specialized educators. I also bought a house and a car in my own name. My choices are no longer dictated by others, but by my own will. I know what I don’t want anymore. I savor each day intensely. It’s amazing how much this change has given me energy: I’ve looked younger, I dress like a woman, more like a mother. I feel twice as pretty as before, in harmony, and above all, I’m very much in love. »
Anne, 46 years old
“…I woke up my desire”
“I was 50 when my husband dumped me for a friend ten years younger than me. He made me realize that I was too old. After a year of depression during which I really got old, I decided to start my life over. This meant in particular reviewing my approach to sexuality, which had been at half mast with me for a long time.
I acted methodically, read books like Age, desire and love, bought some fine lingerie and started exercising again. I wanted to prove to myself that I was still capable of seducing. These steps have awakened my desire. Instead of meetings of lonely women, I preferred dating sites. I was no longer a victim, but an actress in a play, punctuated by e-mails and trysts. My heart was pounding like I was 18. I held the strings, I was more enterprising. After two years, I met my companion. He immediately loved me as I was, with my curves and my wrinkles. With him, I have fun making love. We happened to do it in unusual places, up to three times a day. I live a second youth, to the point of having obtained a promotion in my work. It’s so stimulating to feel wanted! Since this meeting, I no longer see myself growing old. I even forget my age. I exist. »
Sophia, 55 years old
“…I have assumed my retired status”
“I hadn’t prepared to retire so young – I was 55! – and, for a few months, I felt a real frustration, because my professional life was exciting. I didn’t have to face the fear of heights, but the status of retiree itself. And the new limits of my body… I swapped running for swimming and mountain biking.
My goal is to take care of myself. I am 63 years old, although I am not aware of my age. So I lead a healthy life, but also a fun one. I became a volunteer magician for children in the hospital, a great traveler in the “dry flight and backpack” style, and an extra in the cinema. Three years ago, I took part with my son in the show Beijing express: ten thousand kilometers without money and practically only by hitchhiking. We were glued to each other for forty-five days, a great experience that brought us even closer! I realize that I am more attentive and available for my parents, my children, my grandson, and the others in general. I conceive of my life as successive levels that follow one another. At each stage, I do a work of mourning, which allows me to approach old age gently. »
Patrick, 63 years old
For further :
==> I learned to accept aging
Aging well is an art, assures Marie de Hennezel, psychologist and psychotherapist, and there are keys to moving forward with confidence on this path of life. Worried about the passing years, our journalist, in her early sixties, attended one of her seminars.
