1) How to find the strength to forgive and not fall into unhealthy jealousy?
Jealousy is a normal human feeling. But of course, to fall into unhealthy jealousy is to enter into significant and destructive suffering. We want to destroy the infidel, and we would even go as far as a crime of passion! We want to destroy ourselves. And of course to destroy the rival. So that a feeling which should be beautiful and generous like love leads to forms of death. And to hell.
No other solution than to gain height, to be at another level of consciousness, that is to say to access true love. True love is the gift of love. It’s getting out of the need to be loved, that is to say from immaturity, getting out of possessiveness and respecting the freedom of the other.
So forgiveness is not pretending that nothing is happening. It is becoming aware of one’s pain, telling the other about this suffering.
But here too, this forgiveness, which is not an absolution with eyes closed but something very conscious, requires raising oneself in consciousness and going beyond one’s ego.
2) How to be forgiven by her husband?
The first essential point is, when you decide to talk about your infidelity, to be able to communicate with your spouse.
Then you have to understand why this adventure happened, where the dissatisfaction came from.
It must also be understood that the “deceived man” feels a narcissistic wound. He feels devalued. He thinks he is less good than the other. It is therefore important to explain to him that it is not a problem of value. And if the love is still there, we must work to preserve it.
I would also like to say that one should not feel too guilty. Some consider that to be unfaithful is to commit the unforgivable. It’s wrong. You shouldn’t let yourself be carried away by guilt. It is better to focus on knowing the reasons for such a marital crisis and finding solutions.
3) Can we manage to evacuate the suffering caused by the infidelity of a spouse?
Infidelity most of the time causes an acute crisis in the couple, and the way out of this crisis is to gain height in conscience, to really know what we mean by saying love.
Infidelity rather affects self-esteem, the ego. And one can only re-establish clear and healthy links with one’s partner by overcoming these wounds of self-esteem, by situating oneself in true love, that is to say in “love – gift”. “Love – gift” is self-surpassing, which has nothing to do with self-sacrifice. It is the overcoming of his fears, his anxieties, his resentments and his childhood wounds.
And it is by opening your heart as widely as possible that you come out of suffering and enter into love.
4) How to forgive when you feel betrayed?
In absolute terms, loving has nothing to do with possessiveness. Truly loving is an unconditional gift that does not necessarily expect a return. To love is to love the freedom of the other.
Of course, the suffering caused by infidelity is immense. To get out of it, instead of undergoing the test, you have to consider that this is an opportunity to question your couple and your conception of love.
Infidelity is an often tragic accident, but it doesn’t have to be the end of a relationship automatically.
5) How to regain trust after an experience of infidelity?
It is true that there is something broken in terms of trust. Moreover, trust and fidelity come from the same root: faith.
To overcome this, it is essential to take the ordeal as an opportunity, the chance to analyze what was wrong with the couple and readjust the relationship.
On the other hand, to enter into a true forgiveness which comes from a love which goes beyond ego, resentment, self-esteem. And take up the challenge of entering into absolute love.
- Why infidelity?
- Can you love two people at the same time?
- Can an infidel become faithful again?