Not all families are binary

Last week, when I arrived from the coast, I turned on the TV to find out about the new omicron variant and how it followed the contagion curve in our country. By chance I engaged in a debate on assembled families that was taking place in Intratables, with Alejandro Fantino. Everything seemed to be going well, until at one point, Fantino, to set up some controversy where there shouldn’t be any, posed the following question to the psychologist Alicia Crosa: “Can you have two moms?”

With dangerous assurance, Crosa answered no. According to her, in the symbolism of a child, there are father, mother and little brothers. And then he assured that all of us when we are born “we come to settle in an affective situation armed by third parties, that is, we do not choose where we are going to end up; consequently, it is the responsibility of those people who bring a child into the world to ensure the possibility that this child can live in a situation that does not conflict him, that does not alter him “.

As I listened to her, I was filled with outrage. For this lady, our families, diverse families, we generate conflicts and disturbances for our children. Obviously, for this vision there is only the concept of “child”, and other childhoods are not recognized. All of this happened in prime time. Even at that time of wide reaching the audience, homoodiant discourses of the Middle Ages continue to be launched in relation to family construction. Furthermore, I am surprised that a professional who appears in the media to talk about such serious and complex issues is unaware or has forgotten that in Argentina we have the Equal Marriage Law, which guarantees the union of same-sex couples . In other words, for more than ten years, the heterosexual couple model is not the only one in existence, nor is it the only one endorsed by law. That “symbolism” that this psychologist talks about has been reconfiguring itself for a long time.

This kind of binary behavior is something that I have been noticing for a long time on TV and I raised it in different columns. Listening to the laughter and the trivialization of the issue on the floor of the channel, it is clear to me that the gender perspective in the hegemonic media continues to be a great debt for everyone. As someone who works in this space, I can understand the logic of seeking debate, of igniting the controversy that fuels the rating, but I have no doubt that there are thousands of controversial topics that are more productive, interesting and above all, that are in line with the new ways of understanding the concept of family. I believe that it is possible to empathize with the dissidents and not contribute to their neglect or even aggression and have, at the same time, an audience.

Many colleagues believe that these discourses that uphold the old family models do not pursue an innocent goal. These have a clear political intention: to attack the rights won by relying on the supposed negative or adverse consequences for the health of children. Consequences that today they cannot substantiate, because luckily Psychology has advanced and is light years away from Alicia Crosa’s thought. On the other hand, arguments like that of Crosa also exclude children who have and are raised in families other than the type family. For example, children who are raised with their grandparents, or with a single mother, with a father, a transgender mother, a transvestite, a queer family, or any of the many and varied forms that a family can take in these times. The question is, how do we learn to live in a society with all kinds of ties, family and emotional relationships? For me the answer is very simple: applying ESI in all educational establishments in the country. The Comprehensive Sex Education Law, sanctioned in 2006, still has not been implemented throughout the country. Not only is its implementation important, the content to be taught also needs to be updated. Articles on diversity and gender should be modified and expanded. Several more laws emerged after the ESI, which embrace the dissidents and that should appear in the booklets. Binaryism is a tool that the patriarchy used for years to put us in a box and have control over us. It is time to move towards a more just, diverse, inclusive and above all, free society! That can only be achieved if we work together.

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