Gelsenkirchen: Curious offer circulates – “Sexually satisfy longer than 25 seconds”
Gelsenkirchen apparently has a lot to offer again. On the Facebook marketplace – the paradise for bargain hunters, sellers and second-hand lovers.
The offer can slip into the curious. So also that of a provider Gelsenkirchen.
Gelsenkirchen: Provider with insane answers to “essential” questions
It is less about the product. The item on offer is an ordinary fitness bracelet. This is usually used to measure body values, such as heart rate. What makes the ad from the seller from Gelsenkirchen so special is the way in which he advertises the bracelet.
The provider lists the core functions of the product and provides them with explosive examples. The device offers “comprehensive and vital information regarding your unhealthy lifestyle.” It also answers the important questions in life.
Whether in the bedroom or on the “shit bar” – the bracelet delivers
“Have I moved enough today, fat pig?” Is the first question. The built-in step counter provides information about this. The second question relates to the heart rate measurement of the armband: “Am I on the verge of cardiac arrest while I squat on the poop bar and squeeze out my sausage?”
For the next “important” question, the provider quickly disappears into the bedroom. “Will I manage to sexually satisfy my god-wife for more than 25 seconds this time?” The answer is provided by the stopwatch on the bracelet. Sleep shouldn’t be neglected. “Do I get enough sleep if the sex adventure stole 25 seconds of my night?” This question is answered by the sleep record.
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In addition, the Gelsenkirchen-based provider gives examples of music control and measurement of oxygen saturation in the blood. The bracelet also fits around every wrist. To demonstrate this, the attached photos will help the seller. The bracelet was strapped around various sextoys on them.
His wife only used the bracelet for two weeks. She is also responsible for sales. They simply wanted something “more exclusive”. (fp)
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