“If you want to be happy, be happy! “. I really like this sentence from Tolstoy, convinced that our happiness depends a lot on us. But I tend to ruin my life. To ruminate too much, to stress too much… So I decided to make myself happier. A daily job that I am starting today.
Coffee, metro and my notebook
7h. The alarm rings. Instead of jumping out of bed I take a few minutes to visualize my ideal day, as coach Sophie Machot advised me. “We go where we decide to go. If you say to yourself, “This day is off to a bad start,” you are indeed having a bad day. Because even if good things happen to you, you are not going to pay attention to them ”. Mine promises to be busy, especially in important meetings. But after visualizing them, I feel quite serene.
7h30. In front of my bowl of coffee, I begin my second exercise: making a list of my 101 I want. On a small notebook, I started to write: “Living in the heart of nature, writing a book, traveling around the world…”. This exercise, which seemed easy to me at first glance, does not turn out to be so simple… “People don’t allow themselves to dream their lives,” explains Sophie Machot. Few people really ask the question of “What do I want?”. Noting your dreams, from the most concrete to the craziest, gives an inner energy to find on a daily basis what makes sense for us. I have to go to work. I am at nine registered dreams.
Three important questions to ask yourself
What do I want?
What do I like ?
What motivates me?
8h45. Public transport. Crowded, as usual. Then, it is the inevitable breakdown. My good mood immediately takes a hit. I feel nervousness, frustration, rise in me. I decide to test the method R.O.S.I.T.A. recommended by the coach, to cope with stressful situations. The idea? Take a step back in five actions. First breathe, then try to identify the emotion that inhabits me, what it causes in me and why. And finally, figure out what I can do. There, in this case, nothing … except take the opportunity to occupy myself with something pleasant. I take out my notebook and continue to write down my I want : “Create a family business, have a boudoir …” I finally arrive at the office forty minutes late. But much less exhausted than usual.
The ROSITA method
A memo-technical tool to deal with stressful situations
Observer: what emotion am I feeling?
Sentir: how does it translate into my body?
ITo identify: what need is behind this emotion?
Ttransform: how to meet this need and transform this emotion?
Acter: take action
Positive emotions and flavors
The day goes by. The meetings are going pretty well. Outside, the weather is wonderful. I decide, after lunch, to go and enjoy the sun. I savor, eyes closed, its rays which come to warm me. I think back to this sentence of Christophe André, the specialist in happiness: “Happiness is the awareness of well-being”. “One of the first steps to be happier is to do yourself good,” adds Sophie Machot. To train for positive emotions, to anchor them in oneself, to be able to use them in difficult situations. It could be a thought, a gesture, a warmth, a smell… which will instantly relax you. ”
19h30. Back home, I decide to make one of my wishes come true: to cook. I have wanted it for a very long time, but always give it up, for lack of time. Today I take it. I taste with relish this new pleasure.
23h45. Before going to bed, I think back to that day. Of course, not everything went exactly as I would have liked and I had some setbacks. But I have the feeling of having paid less attention to it, of not letting myself be invaded. Even to be freed from it a little. And then I have fifteen wishes written down in my notebook!
I feel at the very beginning of a long road. And I intend to continue tomorrow!
Cultivate your happiness
by Sophie Machot (Ed. Eyrolles, 2014)
Sophie Machot’s blog: Concentrate of happiness