SEX – The one time I managed to have an orgasm while touching myself, I wrote a successful post about it. I had used an ultra-efficient technique – that of the shower head in powerful jet mode directed towards the top of my vulva – after years of unsuccessfully caressing myself under the duvet, or relying on my dreams to transport me , and success was there.
The atmosphere was humid, the sensations explosive, and my feeling of finally succeeding in experiencing something I heard about 24 hours a day, enjoyable. In every sense of the term. Since then, I haven’t done it again. Because I never felt the urge. For two, mutual masturbation is an exercise to which I willingly lend myself, but solo, I prefer a thousand times to hit a dish of carbo pasta in front of The devil wears Prada than sliding my fingers over my clit. My personal definition of a treat from me to me.
I insist on the word “personal”, because this relationship with solitary pleasure is very specific to me. And far from me the idea of making a generality. I find it essential for women to know that there is no shame in roaming their own body, or self-launching. That this subject must absolutely be standardized and that for many, it is a source of a necessary reappropriation of their silhouette, their appearance, their power.
Only for me this is not really the case. And while I completely agree that female masturbation has been demonized for too long, and that this harmful taboo must be broken at all costs, not feeling the need should not become pejorative either. Neither interpreted as a brake on our (or in this case, my) sexual development.
“It is not a response to an injunction but a freedom”
“The discovery of one’s body is sometimes done with a partner. And masturbation should not be an obligation or an umpteenth sexual injunction ”, stated Dre Charlotte Tourmente, general practitioner and sexologist interviewed by Slate a little over a year ago. Same story with the sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc at the microphone of Europe 1 more recently. ”[C’]is an erotic awakening between oneself and oneself, a response to a questioning on the subject of sexuality ”.
She continues, warning against the (involuntary, one imagines) creation of new imperatives: “After having considered it taboo until recently, society has opened up this field of possibilities to women. But it is not for all that an obligatory exercise: it is not a response to an injunction but a freedom. ”
A freedom to indulge in it fully, but also not to find great satisfaction in it, without this insensitivity not translating any discomfort or any repression. In my case for example, I am certainly not a big fan of sex toys without a partner, but as soon as there are several of us, their use seems to me much more enjoyable and exciting. I like to explore the effect of these vibrations on him, on us. But alone – and yes, I’ve tried everything: I’m bored.
See also on Then24: Is it harder to be happy in love when you’re gifted?