To know the happiness of being a mother, Marie Dubois took the long course of the PMA. From this succession of trials, she drew a funny, educational and guilt-free comic to share and reclaim all the pitfalls overcome!
“Take a vacation”, “You have to de-stress”, “Stop thinking about it and it will work”… These clichés given to couples who have trouble having a child, Marie Dubois has heard them dozens of times. Because this video editor and her companion waited seven long years before welcoming their little girl. Years punctuated by traumatic examinations, endless check-ups and painful medical procedures.
At the beginning of this adventure, the young woman and her husband were not worried. Until the day when, after a long fertility check-up, the diagnosis fell: Marie suffers from polycystic ovary syndrome. “During an ultrasound, the radiologist told me that I had ‘lazy ovaries’. I said to myself then that it was a rather violent value judgment “, the 38-year-old remembers. “She explained to me that it was a hormonal imbalance. I found myself on the sidewalk a little frozen. I felt that it was the beginning of a big galley, but without knowing where I put the feet. “
“I was ashamed and I also wondered if my couple was not going to explode”
The path will be very long and winding, as Marie and her companion embark on medically assisted procreation. (PMA). Their daily life is therefore punctuated by hormonal stimulation, blood tests, endovaginal ultrasounds, sperm collection … The couple will do five artificial inseminations. In vain, while the pregnancies of friends are multiplying. Worn out nervously, Marie Dubois switches from sadness to despair, through irritability and even shame.
“I was ashamed of my partner, because I told myself that I was embarking on a rather hard test. I also wondered if my couple was not going to explode in mid-flight”, she explains. But the young woman never gave up and went as far as in vitro fertilization (IVF), a new test both psychic and physical. “The puncture of the oocytes is extremely painful when done under local anesthesia. The only thing that relieves when one enters ART is that one releases oneself from the mental load of planned sexual intercourse for reproductive purposes. a screed of lead which disappears “, she confides.
“With this comic, I wanted to exonerate the women who make this journey”
The first IVF works. But it takes time for the young woman to realize that she is really pregnant and, above all, that she is no longer infertile. “It took me a month or so to get the news. I didn’t really realize until the first ultrasound, when a little flashing dot signaled that the baby’s heart was beating.”
“For years I had seen my girlfriends climb on the train to the maternity hospital and I waited on the platform wondering when I was going to be able to get on it.hen the pregnancy is confirmed, we hope to return to normality, but it is complicated. There is almost a post-traumatic syndrome. It is impossible to forget “, explains Marie.
“Men have their place: when we have a child, it’s because we love each other”
Eager to accompany those we call PMettes, this happy mother of a 3-year-old girl wrote and drew a comic entitled A baby if I can (co-edited by Massot Editions and Revue XXI). “By writing this comic, I wanted to exonerate the women who take this route, but I also wanted to do pedagogy: gynecology is a fairly recent science, with complicated protocols and a universe that is difficult to understand. It continues to scare women, because they lose control over their bodies and their choices “, explains Marie.
She advises to “getting the spouses into the gynecology offices. Supported, women feel less alone in front of the gynecologist and the balance of power is balanced. This makes it possible to make decisions together and to better understand the information. Before, when I do. went there alone, I had the feeling of being at the beach with a lot of wind: I only heard half of the information! Men have their place, because when we have a child, it’s because we love each other“, concludes Marie Dubois, damaged but grown out of this long history.
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